Senator Chris Dodd, Co-creator of the Waitress Sandwich, Announces Retirement
Senator Chris Dodd of Connecticut, has announced that he will not seek re-election. Dodd, along with his comrade and drinking buddy, Ted Kennedy, are the inventors of the famous “waitress sandwich”. They unveiled their creation in 1985 at La Brasserie, a Capitol Hill restaurant. It has been reported, but not confirmed, that this has become the most popular item upon the restaurant’s upscale menu, especially among United States senators.
Here’s what he said:
“The work to make our nation a more perfect union began long before I was elected to the Senate, and it will go on long after I’m gone.
Our country is a work in progress. And I am confident it always will be. That is what I thought about as I stood on that hillside in Arlington on Christmas Eve morning. That is what I’ve talked about with Jackie over this holiday season.
And that is how I came to the conclusion that, in the long sweep of American history, there are moments for each elected public servant to step aside and let someone else step up.”
And here’s what he meant:
“Every good vampire knows that, when he has sucked the last drop of blood from his unfortunate victim, it’s time to move on, so I do. Boy that Countrywide deal was suh-weet!
“America was a great country, and she gave me a really good — and profitable — ride, but my buddies and I have milked her dry, so that she stands today sickly and emaciated — just a shadow of her former self and a gaunt indicator that it’s time I moved on to more fertile hunting grounds.
“Heck, I was going to lose badly anyway, so when my buddies Nancy and Harry came to me and told me how well taken care of I would be if I would just retire, well, the decision became an easy one.
“Wonder where they’ll put me? Head of the Fed, perhaps? Maybe CEO of GM? Or maybe Fannie’s and Freddy’s super-daddy?
“Anyway, so long suckers. It’s been great — for me, anyway.”
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